I’m sorry I am such a disappoint. I will do better, I swear. I just need time.
I’m so, ehh right now.
I really need to talk, but I feel like I’ll break down; I’ve exceeded my emotional breakdown / crying quota of once per year already, so I guess I’ll just keep it all again, as usual.
I’m making some drastic changes to my life this quarter, and I’m looking forward to them all. I’m tired of concerning myself with what other people think about my thoughts, my actions, or sometimes the lack thereof. I am tired of being tied down, too worried about the opinions of others.
If I don’t push myself, if I don’t navigate out of the calm waters that encompass my comfort zone, I will never be able to properly grow as an individual. So please, whatever your thoughts of my choices, my decisions, my life, if you have nothing positive to say, do me a favor and keep your thoughts to yourself. I don’t have room for negativity anymore. I’m starting to look out for myself, as I should have been doing for a long time now.
The monotony is killing me.
Even after asking for work accommodations, just this one time, I still got screwed over despite my Manager’s reassurances that it was fine :/
So, sorry in advance everyone that for the second year in a row I will be swamped during Week 0 and therefore be unable to attend most Welcome Week functions or assist where needed.
But hey, at least I got Wednesday off, right? -_-
Don’t you dare patronize me. Ever.
I’m starting to realize just how insignificant I am in so many people’s lives, even the ones of those I care about terribly.
Yet, I’m also starting to care less, about everything really, which helps numb the pain of isolation and rejection. While that may make me more apathetic about life, at least I will no longer feel continuously dejected.
Did I do something wrong…?
This job gives me way too much time to think…
…and when I have time to think, I have time to get worried, sad, anxious, contemplative, critical. Not a good combination, believe me.
If I declare a second major in Sociocultural Anthropology, I could complete that entire major in just one year as long as I take 4 courses per quarter (the major only requires Upper Division courses) and I finish up all of my Political Science courses this year / summer session next year.
The major actually looks pretty interesting, so I might go for it…but like, I want to dip my toes first, but don’t have time to do so trying to finish my first major…
And if I just take 5 Upper Division Literatures in English courses, I’ll be able to declare / finish that minor.
I envy so many people.
Not for what they have or where they are, but for the determination and resolve that got them there.
Do you ever wish you were better looking so you could get with the people you are actually attracted to?
Cause I do. Daily.
To apply to an International Committee or not to apply, that is the question…specifically the Governing Documents Task Force, or maybe even the Awards Committee, since I am on the District Awards Committee already…
1. When you ask me to do something, or give me a task with a lot of leniency, then once I finish it in a way that satisfies me, you show me something you did and want to go in that direction instead.
2. When I try to reconnect with someone (in this instance, I befriended someone on Facebook), and you accept my friend request, thereby showing at least some remote interest in adding me and talking to me, but when I attempt to talk to you, you blatantly ignore me.
Lately I have felt like such a disappointment, to so many people, but I can’t figure out why. I don’t believe I have changed for better or for worse, but rather people are just perceiving me differently then before.
So I ask myself, is that my fault? Is that my problem? Am I supposed to change?
I don’t want to lose anyone, but I also don’t want to feel guilty all of the time simply because I choose to be myself.
I want you in my life, but do you want me in yours?